A Couples Counselor for Infidelity
Learning that your spouse or partner has had an affair can be devastating. You might feel like there has been a breach of trust and wonder whether or not you can remain in the relationship. Due to the sensitivity of this matter, it is recommended that you see a couples counsellor for guidance and advice.
How a Couples Counselor Might Help
Infidelity is unfortunately common in relationships. There is no single reason for this to occur, and usually there are many circumstances and factors that lead up to it. Some of these may include:
- Stress or depression
- Mid-life crisis
- Long work hours
- Frequent travel for a job
- Unsatisfactory love life
- Feelings that are not being met
- Lack of attention
If you are in a relationship that is suffering from the discovery of an affair, a couples counsellor can provide you with a safe place to open up and discuss your concerns and feelings without judgement. Your counselor will listen to what you have to say and help guide the session towards a certain goal or resolution. Some of the topics that may be covered in a couples counselling session may include:
- Your relationship history
- Various issues or grievances you may have with one another
- Different things that you feel might lack in the relationship
- What you both want in the relationship
- Reasons you are with one another
- Whether or not the infidelity can discontinue
- Why you have came to couples counseling
- What your goals for the counseling may be
Usually couples counseling sessions are 45 to 90 minutes long and span across 3 to 6 months or more. The progress made will largely depend on how much each person gives to the sessions. A couples counsellor may help to:
- Improve communication
- Improve your love life
- Heal from the infidelity
- Learn how to rebuild trust
- Explore new ways to appreciate one another
- Find time to spend with one another
- Develop better habits that compliment the relationship
- Utilize techniques to improve your relationship
When Only One of You Wishes to Try Couples Counseling
Sometimes, only one person is willing to go to couples counselling. Usually this is the person who has been affected by the infidelity. If you wish to try couples counseling, but your spouse or partner does not, this is okay. You can still benefit from the sessions. Although you might not be able to change your partner, these sessions can help you to heal from the experience, boost your confidence, and improve your communication tactics. The sessions will also give you the opportunity to talk about your feelings and receive support – both of which are very important to your wellbeing.
When the Relationship is Not Repairable
Sometimes, you might realize in your sessions that you don’t want to continue the relationship. A couples counselor is not there to tell you what you should do; however, if you decide you would like to separate or divorce, having a counsellor to provide you with advice and a listening ear can be very useful.
Would You Like to Learn More?
If you have been affected by infidelity, consider couples counseling.